Was unfortunate enough to have reserved a seat for the latest... and last?... release of Michael Bay's Transformers. The result? I had to contend for seats on the side and not the middle area of Shang Cineplex' Cinema 3 - not a 3D cinema since I really don't see the point in spending that much money for an experience that you'll only end up regretting paying that much money for...
I have to say this latest installment really had people abuzz. Apart from me not getting the usual row H, I, or J seats (eye level) in the middle section, there were long lines at the ticket booths of people waiting to buy tickets for the movie... unless they were there to watch the chick flick that was showing at the Premiere theater... yeah, Transformers wasn't being shown in the Premiere theater. Instead, it was... Marco... uh... Monte... yeah! Monte Carlo... which, based on the short trailer I saw while waiting IN LINE at the E-See Pass Lane - yes, even the E-See Pass Lane had a line - is about a girl who just graduated and went to Europe with two other girls - one of whom was Leighton Meester - and probably has a coming-of-age story happening there complete with falling in love and all that stuff that makes chick flicks what they are... but I digress.
Dark of the Moon suffers from yet another lack of imagination in the minds of the people who came up with the titles for these movies. As if Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen wasn't bad enough - bad, because THE FALLEN was actually the name of the enemy - they come up with Transformers: The Dark of the Moon... Why? Because The Dark of the Moon was where the focal plot point originates. That area of the moon doesn't even factor in except in the start - which was cool by the way since it showed the Ark at a crash position that is so reminiscent of the cartoon version which crashed on Earth and because they were able to come up with a conspiracy theory about the real reasons behind the Space Race between the US and the USSR - and towards the middle, when new developments were introduced into the movie.
I have to say, though, kudos to Bay for coming up with an entertaining piece of work. Shie LaBouf reprised his role as Sam Witwicky, the first to come across the Autobots in Transformers 1. Other returning stars are Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson - who wasn't in the first few sequences probably because he was busy filming Fast Five, and John Turturro. One notable missing person, and I know that we all know why that is, was Megan Fox, who had so expertly sizzled the big screen with her performance as Mikaela Banes in the first two movies. In her place is an "eh" girl - when compared to her - in Rosie Huntington-Whitely, a model-turned-actress (at least for this movie, that is). Other new names in the cast are Patrick Dempsey, John Malkovich, Frances McDormand, Alan Tudyk, and Ken Jeong of Senyor Chang in Community fame (at least to me). The Witwicky parental units was there too but just like how Bay seemed to forget all about them after they gave Sam an inspirational speech about going after the one he loved, I forgot all about them too.
Of course the robots, who are SUPPOSED TO BE THE FOCUS OF THE SHOW, were also there. The Autobots were represented by Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Ironhide, Ratchet, Mirage, Wheelie, Wheeljack, Brains, Que, and Sideswipe. The Decepticons in the movie were Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave, Laser Beak, Shockwave, and a host of others I don't care to mention the names of since they were just random laser toting robots with more than two eyes.
Anyway, notable performances were given by Turturro, who was nice to watch as the former Sector 7 agent turned somewhat of a philathropist/author with a host of intel on what needed to be done when faced by Decepticon danger. The quirky Agent Simmons, a character that I actually didn't like in the first movie, was a bit of a nice addition to this one. Albeit that it was pretty weird that he suddenly became a rich guy with a cool manservant, Turturro played it really well.
The manservant, Tudyk, also did quite well. It was sort of weird at first when I saw his first costume - flower designs work on a barong, not a suit - but the short outburst of his "old" self and his uncanny ability of knowing how to do what needs to be done in case Simmons asked was funny and entertaining.
I also have to say also that if ever Grey's Anatomy ever goes on the decline, Patrick Dempsey can have a career as a villain in movies. His acting of the character was very good. The suave, self-confident, arrogant character with a formula for winning was really cool. McDreamy can also be McVillainy.
And what Michael Bay movie would be without the ultra slow motion sequences. Heck I think the slo-mo sequences in this one almost reached double figures... HE EVEN SLOW-MOED A KISS! Maybe if he had just one slow-mo, the film would cut about 30 minutes from its running time.
Speaking of cutting, what was up with the editing of this one? It was weird in a lot of ways. You would have the story being pushed forward really fast such that the story was hard to catch up with. I guess that just goes to mean that the story wasn't really the focus here. Except it was the robots - which I like - Shia LaBouf, and Huntington-Whitely... she even had a couple of her own slow-mos including one that I will now interpret as a "Look Megan, can you imagine this could have been your slow-mo" sequence. I personally think that Bay had more than 3 hours of shots and because he was running long, he had to cut some and ended up cutting small sequences that could have made the movie tighter.
Moving on to shots, was it just me or was the movie shot with a lot of different kinds of film? It seemed that for wide shots, the resolution was pretty good. But when the shots came in, the shots started looking grainy and old-school. Was that even intentional? If so, what was the intent? To "differentiate the close-up human shots?"
Another observation that I had was that Bay killed off a lot of robots but NONE OF THE PRINCIPAL HUMAN CHARACTERS?!? He killed off Ironhide pretty sadly, and Wheelie and Brains were offed sadly as well. Que, which is a finger in throat ripoff of Q from James Bond, was sadly killed also! It was kinda "eh" to see that a lot of the mighty robots fell during the war but none of the puny humans, at least the principal ones, even got as much as injured?!? Is this a statement by Bay to say that humans will always be better than machines?
Let's now go to the robots. It was also saddening to see that Shockwave was treated that way. He became nothing more than a barbarian with a giant worm-like robot that didn't even transform. In fact, Shockwave himself never transformed! I still can't quite take it that Soundwave was a car - the name doesn't connect with the transformation! I liked the interpretation of Laser Beak as a stealth change into anything robot. In the toys the maximum transformations would only be two though. But Beak could assimilate any form, which was nice since he was the spy/assassin - in short the ninja. As for Prime, why the hell did they keep the jetpack?!? And it was awkward that after his flight into the war in Chicago, he ended up getting tangled in lines?!? And also, maybe I slipped into a coma for a few seconds but how did the Autobots get surrounded and "defeated" by the Decepticons? Another victim of the Michael Bay time-saving jump?
Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed watching the movie. It was funny at some of the right parts, the action was really cool, and some characters were fun to watch. It just lacked what the girlfriend was referring to as the wow factor. I don't know... is it because Megan Fox wasn't a part of the movie anymore?
Anyway, I would still recommend that people watch this flick. It's a nice way to spend 2 and a half hours seated in an air conditioned room watching robots lay waste to the city of Chicago... I wonder why they chose Chicago as their setting... Is it a kissup to Obama? or a slap in the face? Whatever the reasons, you should go for it.
And IF Bay really gets around to making another Transformer flick, I say bring on UNICRON!
This flick gets a 2.25 out of 5 stars. I apologize for the unstructured review as I am writing this after having caught the 8:20 show and am now bangag at 2am.
Peace out guys!
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